Mobile Phone is the most representative electronic communication device that you can carry anywhere.
Mobile Phone has very various uses. The most principal usage of them is to make and receive a call. We can connect people using mobile phone at anytime and anyplace. Other uses are to send and receive voice and text messages and take a picture. It is also used as an alarm clock, planner and TV. These additional functions are attractive especially to young people.
Mobile Phone supplies useful effects such as easy communication, security, banking and entertainment. It supports multitasking. Nowadays these various effects make the price of it much higher than before.
Mobile Phone is a handful flat rectangular parallelepiped. It has a screen and buttons. We can use it by pressing the buttons or touching the screen. It has various colors and designs. These days, the demand of mobile banking and wireless internet gets the screen of it wider.
The examples of mobile phone are Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, LG, etc. and the similar things are wireless telegraph, beeper, etc.
Mobile phone is very useful device if we use it to fit the time and place. It is penetrating our lives widely and getting an essential to our lives.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
mobile phone
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1 comment:
This essay describes mobile phone very well in brief paragraph. It has introduction, body and conclusion. You analysed mobile phone according by uses, effects, physical characteristics, examples and similar things. I could understand well enough.
To say my opinion about this essay, I think it would be better to write more general opinion about mobile phone in the introduction and conclusion. And I want some sentence to be changed. For example, "Other uses are to send and receive voice (and) text messages and take a picture." use 'and" too often. I hope to remove some of them.
In this sentence "The most principal usage of them", I think 'them' indicates the mobile phone in the prior sentence "Mobile Phone has very various uses". But here 'mobile phone' is singular, so 'them' has to be changed to singular, too, not to be plural.
There are some misuses punctuation marks. In this sentence "the demand of mobile banking(,) and wireless internet gets it wider", I think 'the demand' connects both 'mobile banking' and 'wireless internet'. If that so, you can remove (,). And "The examples of mobile phone are Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, LG, etc(.) and the similar things are wireless telegraph, beeper, etc" can be removed (,), or finish the prior sentence and begin the new sentence with "And the similar". At the first sentence, there is a typo. "Mobile Phone is (an) most representative electronic communication device" In here 'an' is a typo of 'a'.
You referred all about feature of mobile phone in this essay. It would be great that you describe mobile phone in detail by using more examples. Good job!
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