Husband's girlfriend
Dear Annie: A few years ago, my husband, "Don," had an affair with a family friend. I discovered them kissing in the kitchen. I also found out Don's family knew about the affair. My sister-in-law actually provided a place for them to rendezvous.
My in-laws still welcome this woman and her husband into their homes. They are often invited to family functions, even though my in-laws know how painful it is for me. When she is around my husband, she tries to involve herself in his conversation. When he is with her, he acts like nothing ever happened, joking and laughing. Don and I have been to counseling, but it doesn't help when I see this Jezebel in his mother's house all the time.
I have tried to explain how uncomfortable this makes me, but Don says it's not his fault she is at his parents' when he visits his family. That's true. I also know his family can do what they want in their own home.
This woman is married, and her husband just sits back and says nothing. Don was not her first affair, nor her most recent. I don't think he's interested in picking up where he left off, so what do I do? -- Haunted by the Other Woman
Dear Haunted: Don needs to stay away from this woman, and if that means avoiding his family when she is there, so be it. He owes it to you not to treat the affair lightly and expect you to be chummy with a woman who has no respect for your marriage. He should inform his parents and siblings that when Jezebel is present, he will leave. And he should keep his word
몇 년 전, 남편 ‘돈’이 집안과 아는 여자와 외도를 하였는데, 시댁식구들도 이 사실을 알고 있었고 시누이는 사실 그들이 만나는 장소를 제공하기도 했다. 그런데 여전히 시댁에서는 그녀와의 관계를 유지하고 있고 때로는 가족행사에 초대하기도 하며, 이 일로 내가 얼마나 고통스러워하는 지도 알고 있다. 그 여자가 남편 곁에 있을 때 서로 얘기하고 과거 아무 일도 없었던 것처럼 농담하며 웃는다. 남편과 함께 상담도 받았지만 별 효과는 없었다. 나는 남편에게 이 사실을 설명하려고 했으나 남편은 지난 과거의 일을 들추어내는 것을 좋아하지 않으며, 식구들과 그 여자가 만나는 것은 자신의 잘못이 아닌 식구들의 문제라고 생각한다. 내가 어떻게 해야 하나?
남편이 그 여자와 멀리 떨어져있을 필요가 있고, 그것이 그녀가 본가에 있을 때 본가에 가지 않는 것을 의미한다. 남편은 그 여자와 아내가 잘 지내기를 바라지도 말고 과거를 가볍게 보지 않도록 해야 한다. 남편은 그 여자가 본가에 있을 때 거기를 떠날 것임을 알려야 하고, 또한 그의 말을 지켜야 한다.
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